[ he doesn’t let go, however. Not yet. It’s new for lan Wangji but it’s a comfort for Sizhui. Knowing he is in one piece. That he is real and present.
He does slowly begin to relax against him. His eyes close and he takes a slow breath, calming his own worry before reluctantly releasing the other...
Moving away is not an option, though. His gaze travels over the others face, his throat, looking for trauma of any kind. Marks. But he frowns because the truth is worse than the physical. ]
( a-yuan has always thrived on physical affection, and it hasn’t changed. on lan wangji’s worst days, he let the bunnies in the back mountain do for him what he couldn’t, but now, in literal hell, however drained, lan wangji lets him, returns it, no other ways to soothe. because his answer won’t.
he gives a light, hesitant nod, seeking to minimize sizhui’s concerns as he purposely omits details, changing subjects. ) We have much to discuss.
( his mouth curls briefly, and silently he invites him to sit, unsure as to how to proceed. there is an obvious gap between what he knows and what he can’t recall, but. ) My eyes serve me in lieu of my memory. ( sizhui has obviously been raised properly, in good ol’ lan fashion, though he’s lost nothing of his warmth, and it pleases him. ) Has… Wei Ying been made aware? ( of who he is, exactly. )
[ Polite as ever, even in his uncomfortable worry, Sizhui moves to sit with his father and watches his face for signs of discomfort. He is well aware of the strain the island has had on the others throat. ]
Yes. I’ve told him who I am and that you took care of me. After the initial shock, he wasn’t surprised that you had a hand in my upbringing. I think he almost cried, actually.
( a hand in his upbringing. a parental figure. love, despite harsh discipline, but surely leniency as well, now that lan wangji knows his own heart better. it’s a little overwhelming to have such a well-balanced young man in front of him, so polite, with the kindest eyes he’s ever seen. he nods in acknowledgement, relief and something else he can’t name, lodged in his throat. even if wei wuxian couldn’t survive, lan wangji hopes that he finds a modicum of comfort in the fact that a-yuan did.
as for himself... ) A fortnight, before my seclusion. Three years later, a year together. ( still a boy then, before he was wrenched away, and yet somewhere out there, a-yuan was raised by him. the intricacies of their realities still boggle his mind, and there’s just so much he wants to know, to ask. ) Where were we, before you came here?
[ Seclusion. Sizhui looked down, the memory of that broke his heart for a while back then. Lan Wangji was all he had, really, and then he was taken away. At the time he thought it would be forever. But it wasn’t.
There were times when he wasn’t allowed to visit him. But then there were a lot of times when Zewu jun took him anyway. Whether it would for his sanity or because he knew, the way he knew everything, they didn’t do well apart. ]
We were — [ Which sounds so strange to say. ] — going our separate ways. I was accompanying Wen Ning for a while and you and Senior Wei were...going home.
( it’s almost imperceptible, the shift in lan wangji’s otherwise stoic expression. it starts in his brows, a slow rise, a faint crease in-between. then his mouth, a soft exhale as lips gradually part, and lan wangji’s fingers curl on his thighs, nails digging in. wen ning. senior wei. home…? both are long dead, and a mix of confusion and mild distress washes over him, a lump he can’t swallow past. )... Wei Ying?
[ Sizhui naturally shifts closer and takes the others hands; it’s both comforting for him and once upon a time the other liked it as well.
He nods and his brow furrows as he thinking about how to start this—hut he takes this quiet time to fill Hanguang Jun in on most of the main points. All of the things he had missed. Their time together while he raised him. When Wei Wuxian came back as Mo. How he had known almost the entire time that something was familiar, and how His father had known immediately who he was.... All of it. He just let him listen for a while and rest his voice.
He isn’t sure how much time had passed during his recount of things...at least the parts he knew. But it was long enough that he was both tired and thirsty even if he didn’t let on. ]
I apologize if I didn’t tell that well. But we did all end up together in the end. Or my end. I’m not sure what happened after we left you...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ he doesn’t let go, however. Not yet. It’s new for lan Wangji but it’s a comfort for Sizhui. Knowing he is in one piece. That he is real and present.
He does slowly begin to relax against him. His eyes close and he takes a slow breath, calming his own worry before reluctantly releasing the other...
Moving away is not an option, though. His gaze travels over the others face, his throat, looking for trauma of any kind. Marks. But he frowns because the truth is worse than the physical. ]
It was mental torture?
no subject
he gives a light, hesitant nod, seeking to minimize sizhui’s concerns as he purposely omits details, changing subjects. ) We have much to discuss.
no subject
He nods and reluctantly lets go of the bit of sleeve fabric he had kept hold of. ]
It’s okay that you don’t fully remember me. But I’m sorry if that was...too much. I was just so worried...
no subject
( his mouth curls briefly, and silently he invites him to sit, unsure as to how to proceed. there is an obvious gap between what he knows and what he can’t recall, but. ) My eyes serve me in lieu of my memory. ( sizhui has obviously been raised properly, in good ol’ lan fashion, though he’s lost nothing of his warmth, and it pleases him. ) Has… Wei Ying been made aware? ( of who he is, exactly. )
no subject
Yes. I’ve told him who I am and that you took care of me. After the initial shock, he wasn’t surprised that you had a hand in my upbringing. I think he almost cried, actually.
[ Softening a little, he adjusts in his spot. ]
How much of me do you remember?
no subject
as for himself... ) A fortnight, before my seclusion. Three years later, a year together. ( still a boy then, before he was wrenched away, and yet somewhere out there, a-yuan was raised by him. the intricacies of their realities still boggle his mind, and there’s just so much he wants to know, to ask. ) Where were we, before you came here?
no subject
There were times when he wasn’t allowed to visit him. But then there were a lot of times when Zewu jun took him anyway. Whether it would for his sanity or because he knew, the way he knew everything, they didn’t do well apart. ]
We were — [ Which sounds so strange to say. ] — going our separate ways. I was accompanying Wen Ning for a while and you and Senior Wei were...going home.
no subject
no subject
He nods and his brow furrows as he thinking about how to start this—hut he takes this quiet time to fill Hanguang Jun in on most of the main points. All of the things he had missed. Their time together while he raised him. When Wei Wuxian came back as Mo. How he had known almost the entire time that something was familiar, and how His father had known immediately who he was.... All of it. He just let him listen for a while and rest his voice.
He isn’t sure how much time had passed during his recount of things...at least the parts he knew. But it was long enough that he was both tired and thirsty even if he didn’t let on. ]
I apologize if I didn’t tell that well. But we did all end up together in the end. Or my end. I’m not sure what happened after we left you...